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as wind in dry grass or rats' feet over broken glass

every scarecrow has a secret ambition to terrorize

Created on 2009-06-08 02:45:39 (#20508948), last updated 2009-08-28

319 comments received, 2,707 comments posted

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11 Journal Entries, 5 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 97 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	Dr. Jonathan Crane

Bio

Here the crow starves, here the patient stag
Breeds for the rifle. Between the soft moor
And the soft sky, scarely room
To leap or soar. Substance crumbles, in the thin air
Moon cold or moon hot. The road winds in
Listlessness of ancient war,
Languor of broken steel,
Clamour of confused wrong, apt
In silence. Memory is strong
Beyond the bone. Pride snapped,
Shadow of pride is long, in the long pass
No concurrence of bone.

Are we now observed
May we not be
O hidden
Hidden in the stillness of noon, in the silent croacking night.
Come with the swep of the little bat's wing, with the small flare of the firefly or lightning bug,
'Rising and falling, crowned with dust', the small creatures,
The small creatures chirp thinly through the dust, through the night.
O mother
What shall I cry?

You don't see them, you don't – but I see them: they are hunting me down, I must move on.

I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.

Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.

Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you've defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.

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